Trap #1: Confusing anger with violence, aggression, or any other kind of external behavior.
Trap #2: Thinking you must justify your position if you're angry; assuming that you must make logical sense to yourself or someone else.
Trap #3: Going more than a few days without talking to someone about your feelings; letting your emotions incubate in isolation.
Trap #4: Assuming anger will go away on its own if you give it enough time.
Trap #5: Assuming you can't love someone and be angry with her/him simultaneously.
Trap #6: Associating your anger with things about yourself that you do not like (e.g., "my bad temper," "my period," "my tendency to look at the negative side of things").
Trap #7: Being unable to hear and appreciate other people's anger.
Trap #8: Assuming you can't be loved if your loved one is angry with you.
Trap #9: Assuming the person who is angry with you must be right (or wrong).
Trap #10: Trying to force yourself to forgive and forget.
Resource: Deborah Cox, Ph.D., Karin H. Bruckner, M.A., and Sally Stabb, Ph.D., The Anger Advantage, Broadway Books, NY, 2003, pp.76-77.
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